The first challenge I have had to to face most recently is not being able to walk. A skill that until it was taken away from me I took for granted. Not being able to walk is one of the hardest challenges I have faced, I am now reliant on my wheelchair or crutches. When I go out I feel like everyone is looking at me, I feel different. I know it is probably out of curiosity as to why I am in a wheelchair, but the negative thoughts still go through my head and can be quite upsetting. Walking is what enabled me to go out by myself and see friends or go out for coffee, now I can't do that. Most streets and shops are not wheelchair friendly, unless I have someone pushing me I cannot get to them, let alone go in the shop. This really annoys me, why does it have to be so hard for a disabled person to do the most basic of tasks, why can't they make pavements smoother? lower curbs sufficiently? make all shops accessible?
This leads into the second challenge, loosing a lot of my independence. Having just completed my first semester at university, I had become used to having independence and the ability to do things when I wanted. Now I am reliant on my parents and friends to do the most simplest of tasks for me. I can't just go out the house on my own, most of the I cannot go up or down stairs on my own. Meaning I am stuck in my room or the living room which at times can be quite isolating especially if I'm the only one in the house. Not only that, despite being told its not a problem, it can feel like I'm being a burden on who ever has to help me.
There are two challenges I have had to face, not just in the last couple of months but ever since I was diagnosed with CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome). The first is adapting to having to take medications every day just to get through the day. I wouldn't choose to take these medications as a lot of them have horrible side effects both short and long term, but the fact of the matter is if I didn't take them I probably wouldn't be able to get out of bed. A lot of the medications I have to take are either not normally associated with pain but with depression or epilepsy, before you ask why, this is because CRPS is a neurological condition which causes chronic pain. Or I get a look of shock when the person realises the strength of the painkillers. Despite taking these medications I still end up in pain and sometimes don't want to but I have no choice, it could be a lot worse if I didn't.
The second is probably the biggest and hardest challenge that I have had to deal with, that is acceptance. Acceptance that I have CRPS, that there is no cure and that I am going to have to give up playing sport and deal with this condition for a long time. Accepting that I have a chronic pain condition has been extremely difficult as I don't want to admit it. But in order to deal with it acceptance is key because fighting it against it could only make it worse. Only by accepting the condition and the situations it puts me in am I able to learn to over come them. So in the last year by accepting that I have to live with it or along side it allows me to put on a smile and look (even when I'm not feeling very) calm most of the time.
The four challenges mentioned are just a few of the many challenges, both large and small that I have had to face both before and after diagnosis. But I hope just by mentioning a few of them, you start to get an idea as to what its like to learn to live with a disability.
This leads into the second challenge, loosing a lot of my independence. Having just completed my first semester at university, I had become used to having independence and the ability to do things when I wanted. Now I am reliant on my parents and friends to do the most simplest of tasks for me. I can't just go out the house on my own, most of the I cannot go up or down stairs on my own. Meaning I am stuck in my room or the living room which at times can be quite isolating especially if I'm the only one in the house. Not only that, despite being told its not a problem, it can feel like I'm being a burden on who ever has to help me.
There are two challenges I have had to face, not just in the last couple of months but ever since I was diagnosed with CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome). The first is adapting to having to take medications every day just to get through the day. I wouldn't choose to take these medications as a lot of them have horrible side effects both short and long term, but the fact of the matter is if I didn't take them I probably wouldn't be able to get out of bed. A lot of the medications I have to take are either not normally associated with pain but with depression or epilepsy, before you ask why, this is because CRPS is a neurological condition which causes chronic pain. Or I get a look of shock when the person realises the strength of the painkillers. Despite taking these medications I still end up in pain and sometimes don't want to but I have no choice, it could be a lot worse if I didn't.
The second is probably the biggest and hardest challenge that I have had to deal with, that is acceptance. Acceptance that I have CRPS, that there is no cure and that I am going to have to give up playing sport and deal with this condition for a long time. Accepting that I have a chronic pain condition has been extremely difficult as I don't want to admit it. But in order to deal with it acceptance is key because fighting it against it could only make it worse. Only by accepting the condition and the situations it puts me in am I able to learn to over come them. So in the last year by accepting that I have to live with it or along side it allows me to put on a smile and look (even when I'm not feeling very) calm most of the time.
The four challenges mentioned are just a few of the many challenges, both large and small that I have had to face both before and after diagnosis. But I hope just by mentioning a few of them, you start to get an idea as to what its like to learn to live with a disability.
I know how you feel, I have gone through very, very similar things, with you every step of the way!! Keep your chin up!!!
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